Invader KOORI
by Sage of the Chuchus
Summary: A defective invader determined to prove her worth and honour is sent to Earth on a humiliating mission with an even more humiliating partner. On a strict deadline, she must prepare Earth from invasion while fighting back ZIM's mad schemes and an irritating human's resistance to earn her rightful place in Irken society.
1. Chapter 1

Hello!

I thought I'd put this up and see if anyone was interested in reading it. If there's any feedback, I'd love to hear it in reviews or PM's(provided anyone actually reads this).

There will be NO romance. I'm trying to keep to the show as much as possible, including the tone of it and the characters' personalities.

*A note: I've found information that says IRKENs spell their species name and any personal names in all capitol letters. I've been trying to keep up this practice, though it may be a bit inconstant, as it is both a recent addition and hard to remember to do.

* * *

"KOORI? How did you get here?"

The Irken female stood still and resolute under the critical red and purple eyes of her Almighty Tallest. Her back stiff and her lithe body straining in the Massive's control chamber, her antennae erect, to appear taller for the respect the added height would earn. Though she was already taller than average amongst her species, an extra inch was still important in the eyes of her leaders. "With all due respect, My Tallest. I've come to claim the title of 'Invader'. I believe you were mistaken in not naming me one of the Irken Elite." Her voice was stiff, but even and controlled.

The two leaders shared a look that told both of their frustration of dealing with another dissatisfied, dysfunctional soldier, and of their preference to end the meeting quickly in order to tuck into the large assortment of Irken snacks that awaited them. KOORI noted the look and frowned, her blockish, emerald eyes narrowed, contrasting slightly with her lighter skin. Her left antenna(curled in such a way that resembled a single sierpinski triangle), twitched in slight irritation. She was a defect, perhaps, but she'd proven her worth over and over, striving for nothing more than to please her leaders. "My Tallest, I was one of the top-performing soldiers on Devastis. I out-performed 79.1% of all invaders to ever have taken the test, and nine of ten in my division, yet I never received the proper acknowledgement of a simple invader, let alone of an Elite."

"Yes, well…" The Red tallest began, his two fingers scratching the top of his prismic head, carefully avoiding the sensitive antennae there.

"I recognize that my PAK is defective, and that it is cause for concern, but I pledge nothing but undying loyalty to you, My Tallest. I only wish to expand the mighty Irken Empire, and to prove my worth and dedication."

The purple dignitary hummed in slight acknowledgment, though he seemed much more interested in the Irken soft drink clutched in his right 'hand,' his eyelids drooping passively over his violet eyes. The other leader narrowed a red eye. "I just don't know if we can trust you. You'd be better suited for work on Foodcourtia, or maybe Dirt or Janitorilon. A defective personality chip has the potential to cause havoc as widespread as Operation Impending Doom One!"

"Yet you let Invader ZIM keep his rank and gave him an assignment." KOORI's voice dropped, and it was forced strain on her voice that kept her tone at least slightly respectful.

The purple tallest started to giggle, fighting to keep soft drink from spraying everywhere by clamping his lips together. Red chuckled as well and soon both luminaries were doubled over in laughter.

"Z- ZIM?" The purple spluttered, spraying Irken Cola into KOORI's face. She stood, motionless and patient, unyielding in her desire to impress. Neither even tried to reign in their mirth for several seconds, and even after the worst of it had stopped, Purple seemed to giggle every few seconds.

Red composed himself more easily, turning an almost disappointed eye on the young Irken. "Surely you know that was just to shut him up? He was banished to Foodcourtia, but when he escaped we just wanted him out of the way. He's an intergalactic laughing stock!"

"Stuck on some horrible, dull planet called 'Earth,' he actually thinks he's doing something. You're smarter than that though." Purple added with an unwelcome snicker.

Red nodded, almost mockingly solemn. "That's right. You're smart enough to know that you should just accept your fate. The fact that you actually came here to complain, somehow boarded The Massive and snuck past the guards, proves you are unpredictable. We need good soldiers, not independent thinkers."

"It's a shame." Purple lamented thoughtfully between sips of cola. "You're tall."

"Tall, but uncontrollable." Red corrected firmly. "We don't want another Operation Impending Doom One!"

"Then give me an assignment, and the proper tools to take _off-planet_ , to some planet that you don't actually have your sights set on. Best case scenario, I prove myself competent and you gain an extra planet. You did it for Invader ZIM, and I'm not _half_ as reckless as him!"

Red sighed and turned to his co-ruler, who offered nothing more than a noncommittal shrug and the sound of a straw sucking for a depleted reserve of soda. He looked back at KOORI, the again to Purple, and back and forth a few times more, then to one of the Irkens in charge of piloting The Massive, then back to Purple, who finally pulled the straw from his mouth. "You know, that's not a horrible idea."

Red's eyes narrowed suspiciously, and he leaned closer. KOORI watched as the two discussed the idea quietly, her antennae twitching slightly in nervous anticipation. They perked up attentively when both turned around to face her.

"Alright. Since you're so intent on-" Red was interrupted by another pressing straw-gurgle from Purple's drink. " _Ahem_. Since you-" The second time he turned and leveled Purple a glare. The drink was reluctantly lowered. "Since you're so intent on comparing yourself to ZIM, _Invader_ KOORI." Red said, narrowing his eyes. "We've decided to give you the same 'chance' as him."

Purple nodded. "That's right. Don't mess it up." _Sluurp._

KOORI was about to speak up, but Red interjected. "You will be sent to Earth, with ZIM, to aid him in his… efforts. You'll be properly equipped as an invader, but you are given only half the time usually allotted for a planet's invasion, as you will be working alongside ZIM."

KOORI's green eyes widened, it felt like her Squeedlyspooch was twisting inside of her in excitement and disdain. "Half? But- It's ZIM, My Tallest. He's likely to be more a hindrance than an asset!"

"Didn't you say you were in the top percent of graduates from Devastis? Just think of ZIM as another… obstacle." Purple supplied with a shrug.

Red smiled. "That's right. Surely any Irken worthy of the status we're willing to give you, should you succeed, would have no problem with what we're asking."

KOORI looked up at the Tallest. "The status?"

"Yes." Purple raised his two-fingered hand in affirmation. "You'll be awarded the status of 'Irken Elite' and given your own individual assignment with specialised equipment."

"Not only that, there will be many more benefits in store for you." Red put his hand to his forehead and sighed. "Are you happy now, KOORI?"

"Yes, My Tallest." She bowed her head, temporarily overwhelmed by the opportunities that could be presented by the mission. Status, her own mission, untold 'benefits.' It was hard to keep the grin from her face, though a thought distracted her from her inner celebrations. "But, what awaits me if I fail?"

"Exile. To Earth." Purple smiled. "Where you can't bother us ever again."

Her left antennae twitched in slight offence, but she nodded. "I understand."

"If ZIM causes any problems, tell him he'll share your fate when- I mean if- you fail." The red tallest motioned her towards the door. "Now go, we'll get you your stuff. We have important, Tallest things to do."

"Yes, my Almighty Tallest." KOORI bowed deeply. "I understand." she turned and left the control room without another word.

The rulers shared a look. "Too bad she's gonna fail." Purple sighed. "She was so tall, too."

"Half the time alloted, with ZIM in her way? She has no chance." Red agreed. "Now, I heard someone made tacos?'

"Tacos! Sweet!"


	2. Chapter 2

So, here's the second part. Please review with any feedback!

* * *

"Finally." Invader Koori sighed, running a three-fingered hand over her antennae, looking up at her issued Voot cruiser with pride. It wasn't the newest model, and it was recovered from a failed Invader mission(the invader's body was never recovered… or found), but it was more than she'd had before. She was adorned now with a standard Invader uniform, though she had made slight modifications to it, such as adjusting the pointed, stiff collar into a more rounded one and halving the length of her gloves.

At her feet, reaching the top of its head just reaching her waist(a bit shorter than most), was a Standard-Issue Information Retrieval Unit of her own, recovered from the same mission her cruiser had been. The robot had a somewhat squat, almost hemispherical head, and a small, cylindrical torso embellished with a red stripe under a black Invader Emblem. It's red eyes seemed to default into a narrowed, almost angry expression, and its hands seemed more like two thin claws than functional appendages, but she wasn't complaining about the outdated SIR unit either. It was hers, and it seemed to listen to her, so she had no issue.

"SIR, I want you to gather the drill-device we'll need to establish a base."

"Mistress, it was not contained within the Tallests' request to provide you with any more than your assigned Voot Cruiser and SIR unit. It might be inferred that they expect you to share facilities with Invader Zim." Its voice was that of a very robotized deadpan, probably male, though Koori wasn't quite sure and didn't really care about the gender so much as the lack of any sort of inflection in the mouthless vocalizations.

"I suppose that makes sense. If he's willing to cooperate." She frowned as she boarded the ship with her robot and took off, typing in the space coordinated for the little-known planet to which she was assigned.

Zim was a notorious nuisance throughout the entire empire. Koori herself had nearly been one of the two-hundred-and-thirty victims of Operation Impending Doom One, saved by a noble Irken passerby who shoved her out of the way of a falling starship. Zim was irrational, spastic, prone to ignoring people speaking directly to him, stubborn, self-centered, and incredibly proud. At least he was loyal to the tallest, she had that in her favour. His PAK hadn't been downloaded with determination to overthrow the Tallest or the Irken Empire, just any direct order and reason.

Sadly, though, something had gone wrong with his PAK. He was irrational, uncontrollable, and was looked at more as a funny pet than an Irken who had earned his title of Invader. Koori recognized that dumb luck was an asset just as much as technical knowledge or infiltration skills. Invader Zim was an invader, and had the potential to be a good one, if the defects in his pack were worked with, instead of labelling him an outcast and a toy to the Tallest. Unfortunately that was not the case, and Koori was sentenced to more or less the same fate until today. The personality download in her PAK had malfunctioned, leaving the knowledge base and basic tools and mechanisms in place. So she was not the host of some recycled Irken consciousness, but a new being that, while having access to extensive knowledge shared by her kind, was able to make decisions independent from what the Control Brain had programed her to make. The same defect was what made Zim undesirable as a soldier, paired with his instability. His personality wasn't correctly programed, and so he didn't always calculate the logical and most useful path to the empire. He thought out of his PAK, but in a dangerous, illogical way.

Koori was different. She was level-headed, even if it took some work, and her devotion to her Tallest was hers alone, uninfluenced by the personalities of a long-dead Irken or the Control Brain's power. She was loyal, dedicated, and hard-working on her own, her defective PAK went unnoticed for years, but the final test on Devastis had been a test to ensure the trainees PAKs were functioning correctly. She had been forced to choose between a direct order of almost certain suicide, or a tactical way of self-preservation. She'd completed the objective, but in a way that betrayed her independance. Instead as being seen as a creative soldier, she was seen as a freak and a liability.

But with the Tallest ruling she was likely better off, she'd no longer be brushed aside as no better than a destined invader reassigned as a janitor or food service drone. Now she had two new paths before her, though two paths that held a hundred times more stake in the success or failure or her assignment. Failure presented permanent banishment, the likely destruction of everything she owned, and the status of 'dead to us' in the eyes of her noble, Almighty Tallest. It was even possible that the Control Brain would disconnect from her PAK and leave her to die. But success, if the Almighty Tallest were sincere, would bring her respect and recognition as an Invader, and likely bring acceptance of her value, not to mention her height.

"Mistress, it is advisable to focus on piloting rather than your misfortunes as a defective PAK host. A stellar accident would only serve to strengthen the Tallests' expectations of your failure." Her SIR unit informed her dutifully.

Square, emerald eyes narrowed. "You're a bucket of joy." She sighed. She would have to do something about the monotony of the robot's voice, as well as his radiant personality.

"Standard-Issue Information Retrieval Units function as tools, relying on logic and loyalty as the only section of their artificial intelligence that would portray emotion. It should also be noted that SIR units would better serve for use as a thermos than a bucket."

"Good to know. I'll be installing a soul in you later, if that's alright."

"I am indifferent to an AI personality modification providing it does not hinder my ability to perform necessary functions."

"You can count on it then. As soon as we're well-established on Earth."

The SIR seemed to have nothing to add, so she drove past stars, planets, and the black void of space in silence. She didn't even bother to converse with her robot 'companion,' finding even the slight hum of the Voot cruiser engine to have more personality than his comments.

"Eh!? What's THIS!?" Invader Zim yelled into the bleak lifelessness that was his base. Deep underground, he was surrounded with flashing lights, quietly buzzing monitors, and countless computer dashboards, enveloped in the colours of greens, pinks, and greys that were typical of the Irken armada. A small blip had captured his attention on one of the monitors, and one of his antennae was perked curiously as his wide reddish eyes stared at the screen, slightly reflecting the scrolling irken text that shone a light green on his monitor. "COMPUTER! I demand you rescan this signal!"

"Do I have to?"

Zim growled slightly. "...Yes."

"Fine. Scanning now." The computer took only a few seconds before a mildly cheerful beep announced its completion of the task. "Like I _just_ told you, it's an Irken ship. Probably a Voot Cruiser, if its similarities to your ship's signals are anything to go off of."

"A voot… cruiser? But why? WHY!? Have my Tallest sent a messenger to assess the GREATNESS of my… GREATNESS!?"

"Unlikely. Your greatness has probably made the humans _less_ likely to be destroyed by this point."

Zim pounded his fist on the computer console, not really paying attention to the computer's actual words. "I did not ask for your LIES!"

"Can I go back into sleep mode yet?"

"Huh?" Zim narrowed one eye and then shrugged. "I suppose so. But take Zim TO THE SURFACE FIRST!"

The computerized voice sighed. "Can't you install stairs?"

On the surface, nothing seemed awry. The garden gnome sentries kept their bulging-eye surveillance with little more than a light buzzing that was absorbed into the other sounds of life on Zim's street save for on the quietest nights. GIR was inside watching the _cursed_ monkey show Zim so despised, the volume so loud that it carried outside and seemed to help obscure the gnome's quiet song. The filthy inhabitants of the planet went on their way, oblivious to the secrets Zim's brilliant espionage tactics hid from their puny minds.

Still, something felt off.

"What are you up to, Zim?"

The somewhat screamy voice of his rival brought a scowl to Zim's features. _Dib._ "Zim is 'up' to NOTHING!"

"Yeah right!" The equally-heighted human came into sight, passing through Zim's gnome security, his trench coat billowing softly in the wake of his impassioned footfalls. "I saw the ship! It reads just like yours and Tak's!"

Zim made a strange, frustrated shout and glared at Dib through the irritating eye contacts he wore for his disguise. "Zim is FINALLY getting the recognition he DESERVES from His Tallest!"

"Recognition for what?" Dib seemed skeptical of Zim's claim, too blind to see the brilliance that was Zim.

Zim chuckled. "My GREATNESS, of course. Stupid Dib-human."

"Riiight."

Zim gave a curt nod with a smirk and pose worthy of his vast superiority. After a moment, though, he opened a single eye, maintaining his proud stance. "Wait, why is the Dib-Human not being DISINTEGRATED by my _gnomes_."

"Your robot turned them off."

"YOU _FILTHY,_ DECEPTIVE, WRITHING DLORP-SPAWN!" Zim raged, stomping closer to the largely unaffected human. "WHAT HAVE YOU _done_ to my robot _SLAVE?!"_

"Nothing. I just asked him to turn them off."

"...Oh."

"Yeaaaaah. Have you considered replacing him? He seems more useful to me than you."

"Zim does not take ADVICE from the TINY-BRAINED HUMAN- _SLUG_ BEAST!"

Dib sighed, about to offer a level and somewhat lazy retort when a small, watch-like device on his wrist started to beep in a shrill tone. One of Zim's antennae quirked, but a similar device on his own wrist joined in the beeping, though at a lower pitch. They stared at each other for just a moment before Zim yelled "Mine is beTTER!" and both invader and rival began to poke at the devices on their wrist.

"It's here! I don't know what you're up to, Zim, but I will stop you!" Dib announced to the Irken invader, pointing dramatically, for all the benefit of an old lady watering her lawn a three doors down. She, as like Zim, ignored him.

"GIR!"

There was a moment of silence and Zim opened his mouth to yell again, while Dib moved to cover his own ears. Before the mighty Irken could summon the robot again, however, there was a scurrying sound and a crash, accompanied by an outward explosion of glass from one of the windows.

"WHEEEEEEEE!"

Zim more or less pouted at the dog-suit-covered robot frolicking on his lawn. "GIR! That's the THIRD TIME THIS week."

"IMMA GET TO TEN!"

Dib shook his head sadly, though his _almost_ -sympathy for Zim lasted only a moment before his animated verbal assault on Zim returned twofold. "Just watch me, Zim! I'll stop whatever you're planning! You and your stupid, alien friend!" He swung his hand upward for emphasis, though Zim had moved closer to better scream in his face and got clipped. The alien stumbled back, clutching at the face where he'd been struck.

"You! YOUUUUUU _DARE_ to- to- ATTACK Zim!?"

"I didn- AHH!" The human defended his face as best he could from the sudden assault of pointed fingers. He fell backwards and almost tripped, barely managing to catch himself and fend off Zim's gloved assault.

The two began fighting, GIR screaming and circling them, and the entire group was unaware of the cloaked spacecraft landing in the small backyard of Zim's house.


End file.
